Monthly Archives: February 2014

Metro Man


Your eyes, enlarge

when you look my way.


I notice other things,

on you grow bigger.


Women have a way of looking,

without you ever knowing.


But you, you’re not

discrete Mr. Metro Man.


You don’t fool me

with your newspaper.


I can see your eyes

above the sports pages


staring at me and I can see

the smudge from the sweat


on your hands, I want

to feel on my skin.


The Fetish Gamble


In erotica, risk is not always awarded. It is very much a hit or miss kind of thing. Though, I am more a football girl, the baseball metaphor of homerun and strike out comes to play when you write a fetish centric erotic work.

I saw an intriguing documentary about ‘maskers’: men who like to dress up like female dolls. It was fascinating to me, and I found the act very erotic. It is also free today and tomorrow.

I wrote a solid story and put it out for the same price as many other erotica pieces but it has not done that well.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, and I know I am newbie at this but I see it was a high risk, high reward story to write.

Artistically it was very fulfilling and I have gotten a few nice e-mails but it has not been a story the masses and average erotica reader has downloaded—though the director gave it a very nice shout out which made me feel very good.

I see in erotica, risk is not always rewarded in the marketplace unless it really something original—dinosaur and beast mating became big, but that is just not my thing (when I’m the prude, I know it is some truly kinky stuff.)

As I do something that is still a little out there mixing politics and satire, into erotica I am once again gambling.

I could lose but I like when the stakes are high. 

Even Fox News Likes To Fuck


My editor said he had an idea he wanted to write but there was just too much on his plate, and asked me if I wanted to write it.

Now, I love working with an editor but I like coming up with my own ideas, but the idea was so much fun I thought–hell, I need to write this and I could it write it well.

He said it was just a plot of an extreme left-wing group drugging Fox News’ water supply and making them have sex with each other. Now, I won’t lie, I work for the Government (yes I have a pen name for many reasons) and lean very left but the idea of Sean Hannity having hot sex with Elizabeth Hasselbeck was just something I felt like I had to do.

So I am working on it with the title “A Fair & Balanced Fuck Fest” and my editor is very happy of what I have so far, and yes the Hannity-Hasselbeck scene is pretty damn hot.

More to cum…


Valentine’s Day Kindle Sale

Happy Valentine’s Day Bizarro Fiction fans! We love you! We love you so much we want to be inside your kindle. Caressing it. Stimulating the pixels on your e-ink displays. Which is why from now until January 20th, you can get the Kindle edition of the following NINE books for  just 99 cents each or  FREE if you purchase or have already purchased the paperback edition. Spread the love!


Fantastic Orgy by Carlton Mellick III

1936383802Kindle regularly $4.95, BUY NOW FOR $0.99

Shark women, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases.

Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications. There’s an STD that changes your hair color, an STD that…

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Review of “Mitt”

Great White House


My co-writer Brody Thomas enjoyed “Mitt” but all I could think while watching it: thank God he wasn’t elected, it would have sucked to have him be the lead character of “Great White House”.

Mitt Romney is just a boring guy and doesn’t make much for lively television. I know a lot people have critiqued him as being rich and out of touch, but whatever, he has money I can’t fault the guy for that.

I want money, that doesn’t make me evil, but what I can fault is seeing a guy who is that not good at or even belongs in Politics.

Where Bush had Rove, Obama had the mustache guy, and Clinton had that really ugly guy (we are seeing a trend that ugly men making for great political operatives) we see Romney only with his family.

We still do see a guy who is out of touch…

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House of Cards Erotica


I am in love with the show “House of Cards.” I am counting down the days until season 2. I was almost tempted to do a little fan-fiction of erotica of the show, but then I thought why not do an erotica story with my own female protagonist, a female Frank Underwood that parallels the plot of the show.

Feminist Erotica Parody?

I don’t know about all that, I just know I like to write fun stories that have craft and of course hot sex.

I love this show, and loved doing my own version of it.

I started writing it and the female Frank Underwood character has just taken over me; it is like I know her, maybe she is my hidden side, but the story is flowing.

I am not saying this will be the next “50 Shades of Grey” (which I unapologetically loved and my bank account would love it was) but inspired fan-fiction erotica can be really fun to write, and I hope readers will have the same amount of fun with me.

Mandy 🙂